Back to School Tips for Parents

As I write this article I am hiding in a magical hour of ‘me’ time. Now that may seem strange to you as I am on holiday, and it is still warm and sunny outside – even here in the north of England. But as I’m sure that I’m not alone in my experience of the ‘family holiday’ I will admit that getting any time to myself is a complete luxury, and I am (dare I say it) looking forward to getting back a little routine when the kids go back to school. I have written before about my love of the French attitude to La Rentrée. As an eternal student of some kind or other I have always felt a bit like September is the real beginning of a new year with new possibilities, projects and people to meet. As a parent I also find it is the time I use to catch up on everything that has been ‘put on hold’ for 3 months because let’s be honest with all the end of year activities to attend to, who gets anything done for the last month of the summer term. My list at present includes unpacking all those moving boxes that are still lurking in my basement and finding all the things I put in ‘safe’ places including the book I was half way through reading to write an article for the July issue of this magazine (see next month). However, the most important thing we will be doing this September is reviewing our family routines. For us like many other families having routines makes all the difference to the getting back into the school rhythm after the long summer break.

 

Here are some tips I found recently in an article from one of my favorite websites www.empoweringparents.com

  • Before the new school year begins have a family meeting to discuss what you can all do to support each other in getting back into the routine of getting up and ready in the morning, getting to school, homework and night time routines.

 

The idea is not only to prepare your family for the inevitable changes after the holiday months of late nights and lay ins, but also to include them in taking responsibility for organizing their own schedules. It doesn’t matter how young your child is family meetings are a great way to make kids feel included and give them age appropriate expectations. I usually start with a wide question like ‘what do we need to do to be prepared for going back to school’ and let everyone give ideas before we make any plans. The author of this article suggested a more fixed agenda but as long as you have some ideas that would work for everyone in the family it doesn’t matter. You can always follow up with a ‘what’s working and what’s not working’ a couple of weeks into term.

 

  • Remind your family that you are a team and that as parents you also have to get back into a routine that can sometimes feel as stressful – with commitments to school runs, acting as a taxi service for after school activities, ensuring chores and homework are done etc.
  • Be realistic and don’t try to tackle everything. Don’t be tempted to write long lists of new rules or too detailed routines to begin the new school year with. Tackle in chunks and build on ideas. Maybe start by focusing on a previously difficult area e.g. getting up and into school on time.
  • If there are specific areas of concern then you might need to talk to your child separately. It is important to talk openly about areas where your child might be struggling but open up the discussion as a problem- solving task for you both to tackle.
  • Set Expectations for a better year. Even if everything went relatively smoothly it is important to talk about areas that can improve. If your child has been struggling then a hopeful yet realistic plan can give them the opportunity to feel that they have a ‘new slate’.
  • Remember that as parents you will need certain information from the school including timetables, expectations regarding homework , what papers need to be read and signed, when activities (including extra curricular) are taking place before you can finalize your weekly schedules. This takes some time and organization in itself.
  • Find someone in school or in your community that you can align with. This is especially true if your child has recently moved, been previously unhappy in school, struggles socially or academically or has special needs of any form. Nearly all parents struggle at one time or another with their children’s education or physical/development. It is important to feel that you have someone to talk to.

 

As Janet Lehman writes in her article 9 Back to School Behavior Tips:
How to Set Up a Structure That Works:

“Don’t forget, you’re making this transition into the school year along with your child. Try not to do it alone. Talk with your spouse and come at it as a team…speak with other parents, family and friends. Be kind to yourself and reduce your own expectations that you have to “solve everything.” Try to say, “If it was a terrible year last year, this will be a better year. It may not be perfect, but it can be better.”

 
 

 
 
 
Lynn Frank is a coordinator for Passage, the Parent Support Group for the English-speaking community in Luxembourg. If you would like to know more about our work contact us at passage.parents@gmail.com